Before The Dawn
by Cressida Isolde
Summary: The continuing adventures of the Normandy's crew as they struggle to survive and find meaning in a world they were just dropped into. Post-ME3. All canon but no way in hell is that where it ends.
1. Chapter 1

I _swore_ I was not going to do this. This is essentially a continuation of where the crew ends up after defeating the Reapers.

Edit: lol thought of a better name.

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><p>The Normandy crashed through the treeline, touched a ridge and for a moment was airborne once more before slamming into the ground, ploughing a furrow a hundred feet long into the forest floor.<p>

For a second Joker couldn't believe they'd actually stopped. The banks of controls in front of him were dull and wouldn't respond when he tested them.

He lifted his arms tentatively – they weren't broken, at least – and undid the restraints keeping him in the pilot's seat. "Holy shit," he said, mostly to himself, and then again. "Holy _shit_!" He struggled to his feet. Bruises. That was it.

He flipped the intercom switch. "Guys? _Guys?_ We made it!"

He crouched, carefully, next to EDI's chair. "EDI! We're-" he froze.

Her eyes stared ahead, dully. Her long, slender limbs were lying motionless, slack in the seat.

"EDI?" he touched her face; smooth, cold synthetic alloy.

"Is she-"

He looked up to see Garrus.

"She- she's offline," he said. "Maybe that – that red blast knocked her out somehow. Maybe – maybe there's some way to restart her-" he lifted her forward slightly. "Some sort of switch?"

"Where the hell are we?"

Joker heard the sound of the doors to the left of the cockpit open as if it were far away.

"I want to say Terminus Systems," said Tali. "But – this doesn't look familiar."

"EDI?" he asked, softly. He lifted her hand, interlaced his fingers with hers, and stared into her blank grey eyes.

"Joker-"

He lifted his head, startled.

"Where was that last jump to?" Garrus was watching him from the doorway.

He stood, reluctantly. "I – I'm not sure. Nav's down."

Finally, he made it to the doors. The thick canopy of the jungle spread out in front of them, the sky blue for miles in all directions.

"I guess she did it," said Tali.

Garrus looked up into the sky. The bright red glow in the sky was fading. "I – hope that's what it was."

There were footsteps behind them.

"Are we – are we trapped here?" Kaidan made his way to the doorway. He was sporting an impressive gash on his forehead, that he must have picked up in the rough landing. He followed Garrus' line of sight.

"This bird is grounded," said Joker. "For now, anyways. I guess later we can – see what's going on. We still have FTL travel."

"How much fuel?" asked Garrus. Joker didn't reply. "Not enough, huh?" He stepped off the ship, his feet sinking into the rich brown soil.

Tali followed him. "Are we going to be able to eat anything we find here?" she asked.

Garrus paused. "I'm not sure about us," he said. "But we can survive on what's left in the ship for a week or two. Long enough to repair the Normandy. Maybe."

"Maybe we're dead," said Tali. "And this is the afterlife."

"I didn't think being dead would hurt as much," said Kaidan, touching his fingers to his wound gently.

"If this was the afterlife, she'd be here," said Garrus. "She promised. And there's no bar. I think we can safely exclude that option."

"Are you – okay?" asked Joker.

"Fine," Garrus replied. "I'm going to scout out our immediate area."

"I'll come-" began Tali, but Garrus cut her off.

"No," he said firmly. "I'll go alone." He disappeared into the thick green foliage.

"He's taking it hard," said Tali.

"Who wouldn't?" asked Kaidan.

Joker left them in the doorway and returned once more to EDI's chair. "I know you can hear me," he said. "I'm gonna get you back. I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

Garrus and Tali sat, perched on a wing of the Normandy, looking out over the sea of green.

"I don't know what to do," admitted Tali. "Without her, I mean. I always thought she'd be here if we got into trouble."

Garrus barked out a laugh. "It's funny," he said. "How if we were to be marooned on some deserted jungle planet, you'd assume it'd be Shepard's fault."

"I – I didn't mean-" she stammered.

"No, I know," he said. "I was thinking it too."

A warm breeze ruffled the leaves on the trees.

"I know what I _should_ be doing," said Garrus. "Secure the perimeter. Check for potential hostiles. Search for land elevation. I just – heh. Can't see the point."

"You miss her."

"No-" he began. "Well – yes, but that's beside the point. We've spent – how long? Three – four years planning for the day we defeat the Reapers. That day was yesterday. And now what? We're done. We won, or, we lost. Either way, I don't know if we'll ever find out." His voice had been increasing in volume since he began to speak. With a sidelong glance at Tali, he lowered it again. "This isn't where I thought I'd be on this day. I just – just want to know if we did it. If we managed to fight for anything at all."

"Where did you think you'd be?" Tali cocked her head.

"Worst case scenario – drunk, at a morgue, searching through dog tags. Best case scenario – still drunk, at the Citadel, with – with Shepard, and you, and Liara and everyone else." He leaned forward, looking out over the forest. In the distance, a huge waterfall dropped over the edge of a sheer cliff.

"You don't think we'll ever get home, do you?" she asked. "I can't imagine – living here. Forever."

"I'm having some trouble thinking about living here for the next few days," he said. "If this is it-" he sighed.

Tali looked up into the sky. There were two moons orbiting the planet, one large and luminous, hanging in the sky like a ripe fruit, and the other smaller. Both of them were in a close enough orbit for her to see the pocks and craters of their surface. "I want to go back to Rannoch," she said quietly. "I was going to – to build a house. I don't want to live here either."

"To never see your homeland again," he said. "After all you've gone through to get it back. I'm sorry."

Tali looked up at him. "What about your planet?"

"Palaven," said Garrus, his voice strained. "What's left of it. If there's anything at all to save. The rebuilding effort would be-" he shook his head. "I just – I just hope my family made it. I know it was close for them."

"It's hard to just sit here," she said. "When you don't know what your people, or your family, or your friends are facing."

"That it is," he agreed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Garrus?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is there nothing here?"

He turned to her, puzzled. "What are you saying?"

"I mean no colonists. No civilisation. I haven't even seen any animals. I don't understand why; it's liveable at the least. I've seen people make do with a lot less."

He turned to look at her, staring intently. "I – I don't know. Maybe there is, but further away. Still-" he looked out over the jungle, uneasily. "They should have seen us go down. Or the relay being destroyed. It seems like there should be something, at least."

"Something's wrong," said Tali. "Isn't it?"

"I'm not sure yet," he said. "We'll find out."

"Cortez is trying to patch up the Kodiak," she said. "It doesn't look badly damaged. We can see the rest of the planet soon."

Garrus looked around at the trees surrounding them. They seemed like they were listening, small green leaves stretched out to catch every word. "It's getting dark," he said, although it was still hours until nightfall. "We should get back inside."

He leapt down nimbly from the wing. Tali followed him.


	3. Chapter 3

I want to explain a little what I'm doing - not too much, because it should stand on it's own, but just a little bit about the idea. This isn't about how much I didn't like the ending (though I wasn't a fan?) It's about taking things to their next logical step. What did the writers think was going to happen if they just drop a diverse and very capable crew on an empty jungle planet? I'm just exploring.

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><p>"She's gone," Joker sat back in his chair, eyes wide in disbelief. His face was lit by the orange glow of the Normandy flight controls panel in the dimness of the cabin. "She's just gone."<p>

"EDI's gone?" asked Kaidan.

"Yeah," he said. "I just – I can't find her anywhere."

Kaidan's eyes flicked over to where her humanoid body was sitting, still staring blankly, calmly ahead.

"No," said Joker, exasperated. "I mean in the ship. She's _there_, yeah, but she's _everywhere_ as well. Except, well, she isn't."

"You haven't turned the engines back on yet."

"That doesn't _matter_," Joker snapped. "She's not linked to what's actually going or not, she's a constant function. I've got everything back online except her and the navigation systems. And I think we damaged the nav gear in the landing, but it shouldn't have been able to knock EDI off because she's housed differently; she doesn't rely on anything. She's just _gone_."

"I'm sorry," said Kaidan. "I – she was a friend."

Joker stood up, with some difficulty. "Don't talk like that," he said, his voice loud in the cockpit. "Don't talk about her like she's dead. She's not dead!"

Kaidan watched him levelly. "Did she keep backups?"

"Yes! That's what I don't understand!" Joker lifted his hands to his head. "The data's still _there_, it's just – I can't do anything with it. Nothing runs properly when I try to start it, it just sits there in the background being an idle process. Doesn't even take up any resources." He sighed. "So." He swallowed painfully. "All I really know is… she's gone. And I don't know if there's going to be any way to get her back."

"I don't understand," said Kaidan. "But then I don't understand a lot of things that have happened in the past few days."

"Yeah," said Joker, quietly. "Any news from – well, anywhere?"

Kaidan ran a hand through his hair. "Nothing. Liara's lost her uplink. And her little drone thing. Glyph. It's gone too."

"Jesus ." He shook his head." We're so cut off from everything. Feels like we're the only people left in the whole goddamn universe. I just – just wish I could punch something. You know?"

Kaidan smiled, but sadly. "Yeah," he said. "I know how that feels."

The airlock doors opened.

"Hey," said Cortez, stepping inside. "I got the Kodiak working. Lost the flight assist, though. No idea why."

"That flight assist – that's a VI, isn't it?" asked Kaidan, turning towards him.

"Yeah," said Cortez. "I can fly without it though. Not everyone could." A faint smile flickered over his face.

"Seems like we lost a couple others," Kaidan continued. "That's – unusual. Something seems wrong here. Maybe there's some sort of field or something that interferes with them."

"EDI isn't a VI." Joker's voice rose again. "Goddamn it, she isn't."

"Sorry," said Kaidan. "I didn't mean – synthetic intelligences, then. Isn't it strange that we've lost a few without any reason why?"

He stepped out of the way as Joker pushed past him.

"I'm not gonna just stand here while you talk like she's not a person," he said.

Kaidan watched him as he limped away, past the bridge and down to the elevator. He turned back to Cortez. "I don't - I don't even think about EDI that way," he said, embarrassed. "She's crew, like the rest of us." He took a step towards Joker's retreating figure. "Maybe I should-"

"Don't," said Cortez. "Losing someone so suddenly – hurts. He needs some time alone."

Kaidan glanced once more at Joker. "Yeah," he said. "I guess so."

"Hey, you want to get a better look at this planet?" asked Cortez. "Like I said, I got the Kodiak up and running. Couple of the others are coming too."

"Alright," said Kaidan. "Be good to see what this place is like."


	4. Chapter 4

The shuttle rose above the treeline, doors open so the inhabitants could see outside. They moved in a half-circle once around the crashed Normandy, and then gently headed out. From the air, they could see how close they were to another of the sheer cliffs that dominated the landscape – if they'd slid just a hundred feet more, they would have plummeted to the sea below.

They followed the line of the cliffs as it curved. The canopy of foliage over the jungle was thick, huge vines snaking around the trees. A burst of flying creatures exploded from the bushes in front of them, but Cortez navigated around them smoothly. Tali jumped, startled.

In the distance they could whatever it was that passed for the planet's ocean, huge and blue and sparkling in the sunlight. Tali and Liara and Kaidan stood at the doorway, holding onto the Kodiak's passenger straps to keep their balance. Garrus was still sitting down.

"I should never have gotten back on this thing," said Garrus bitterly. "I shouldn't have left her."

"Don't talk like that," said Tali, turning back to face him.

"It's true," he said. "We were – we were running. To this pillar of light leading up to the Citadel. And then suddenly – I don't know what happened."

"A Reaper landed," said Kaidan. His head was hanging down. "Christ. You never realise how big those damn things are until you've got one right in front of you."

Garrus turned towards him. "There was a light? I can't quite-"

"The beam," Kaidan said quietly. "Just – just a streak of burning light. I managed to get out of the way, but got swarmed by husks. You – I thought you were hit. I couldn't see you. Shepard – she was so far in front of us. There was just – nothing there. She was gone."

"You don't think she's alive?" Garrus asked.

Kaidan sighed. "I don't see how she could be. And then, somehow, the shuttle came down – I didn't think it was even real at first – and we got everyone still breathing on board and took off."

"I should have stayed with her. I could have done something."

Kaidan looked up. "You couldn't _walk_," he said. "We had to carry you onto the shuttle. What were you going to do?"

He fixed Kaidan with a steely gaze. "I could have stayed with her so she didn't have to die alone."

Kaidan didn't reply.

"Garrus-" Tali began, but Garrus cut her off.

"Forget it," he said. "It doesn't matter."

There was silence in the cabin.

The cliffs changed direction, and Cortez pulled the Kodiak up to glide up the side of one of the sharply rising mountains. They paused at the top to take in the view. Wild greenery on one side, calm ocean on the other.

"It's beautiful," said Liara, seated carefully across from the door. "Perfect, almost."

"There's nothing here," said Tali. "No cities, no camps, no one. We're alone."

Liara's hands clenched and unclenched in her lap. "There must be something," she said. "We haven't seen the entire planet yet. Maybe on the other side-"

"If there's sentient life on this planet, it's not space-faring," said Garrus. "It's too quiet. We've been here a few days, and it's not like we didn't make a dramatic entrance. Something would have noticed, surely."

"If I could just get to my-" began Liara.

Kaidan leaned forward, suddenly. "What in the hell is _that_?" he said.

They followed his gaze. Beneath them, gliding gently over the treetops, was a wide, flat disc, ten feet across. It was almost translucent, rippling in the sunlight, and seemed to flicker under their gaze. Suddenly, as if it knew it was being watched, it compressed itself rapidly into a tiny ball, and dropped through one of the few gaps in the jungle canopy.

"Okay," said Garrus, heavily. "It's going to be one of _those_ worlds."


	5. Chapter 5

I kind of hate space magic. And irl biology, and irl chemistry. I haven't decided which one I hate most yet. SCIENCE!

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><p>The crew stood gathered around the med bay, the harsh fluorescent light flickering over their faces. It was cramped in the small chamber, and still more of the crew waited outside the window looking in.<p>

Half of one of the native fruits from the vines outside was sitting on a table, sliced through the middle. It was a deep shade of purple, and long and tuberous.

Dr Chakwas looked up from the analysis report warily. She pressed her lips together. "It's edible," she said, finally. "For humans. There's nothing in here that specifies it's poisonous, but I can't speak to other effects it might have. Judging from the chemical makeup, it should be sweet, and there seems to be a high starch content, too. It seems edible."

The entire room seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Any volunteers?" asked Chakwas.

"Aw, hell," said Vega. "I'll take one for the team." The crowd parted, a little, to let him stroll through. He lifted the fruit in one hand and took a bite with an audible crunch. The crew pressed in a little more.

"Eurgh." He pulled a face. "Tastes like – custard?"

The air was filled with laughter; whooping; shouts of joy. Quietly, Tali sighed and edged out of the room. Garrus followed her.

"So that's it, then," said Garrus, quietly. "That's fine. Can't say I was really expecting anything else."

Tali sat down on one of the chairs in the mess hall. "I suppose it's better this way," she said. "Instead of us being able to eat everything and them being able to eat nothing."

"You know, in a way I'm glad that we don't have to live on this planet for the next sixty years," he said. "It's liberating, somehow. Is that about right for how long Quarians live?"

She stared at her feet. "Give or take twenty years."

"Starvation was at the top of my list for 'preferred ways to die' anyway," he continued. "You know where you stand, with starvation. Doesn't come as a surprise."

She didn't respond.

"I'm – sorry," he said awkwardly, sitting down on the chair opposite. "I don't mean to make this harder for you. It's just – easier. For me. This way."

Tali nodded. "I understand," she said, her voice barely audible. "I'm just – scared. I don't want to think about it. Everything ending like this."

"Of course," said Garrus. "Well – this doesn't have to be the end. The ship could be repairable."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," she said.

"No I'm not," he replied. "It's possible."

"Have you asked Adams if it's possible?"

"No," he admitted. "I haven't."

She looked up at him. "Why?"

He turned his head away slightly. "I don't – have an answer for that."

"Because it might confirm to you that we will die here?"

He blinked at her. "I – don't know. Maybe."

She stood up. "Well," she said. "Let's go ask him then."

Chief Engineer Adams hadn't been at the announcement of the test results. Instead, he was monitoring the drive core's fluctuations. He was alone on the engineering deck. The only sound was the soft hum of the machinery around him.

Tali marched up to him. "Can we fix this ship?" she demanded.

"Uh- I, um. I don't know. I think so." He looked at the pair, wide-eyed, perplexed by their sudden appearance. "As you can see, we don't have much damage to the internals. There's a fair amount of hull damage, and some serious thruster issues, but nothing that seems insurmountable."

"How long could this take?" asked Garrus.

Adams folded his arms. "In normal situations, it'd be a couple of days work, depending on who you bribed," he said. "A 'normal situation', of course, assumes ownership of a decent bay and set of tools. Without that – we're looking at a month. Maybe two."

"Thank you," said Garrus.

He and Tali began to walk away. "That's still a long time without food," he said.

She tilted her head. "I have-" Tali hesitated. "Nutrient paste."

Garrus turned to look at her. "Paste," he repeated.

"I know it doesn't sound very appetising," she added hastily. "But it comes in several flavours."

"Why didn't you bring this up before?" he asked.

"I thought - I thought you might make fun of it," she said, all in a rush.

"How much do you have?" asked Garrus. "If I'm going to cut your life short to extend mine a few days, I'm not interested."

"Maybe three months?" she said. "One and a half months each?"

"Well," Garrus said. "Things are starting to look up already. Don't you agree?"


	6. Chapter 6

Sliiight perspective change, so, may seem different to preceding chapters.

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><p>The engineering under-deck was warm, and dry, and most importantly, empty. Garrus took the last few steps down to the floor and looked around. It was bare, save for a few crates and boxes. He couldn't tell why Jack used to spend most of her time down here. Maybe for the gentle rumble of the machinery on the floor above. It did make it hard to think, after all.<p>

He wasn't sure what he was looking for. He'd used the excuse of looking for the few remaining dextro provisions to get away from everyone else for a while. They didn't seem to know how to talk to him anymore.

He leaned against one of the larger crates. From here it seemed like there was enough room to crawl right into the internals of the ship, thick coils of cables and metal struts vanishing into the dimness. Maybe someone could get lost in there, never to return.

There was a noise. Garrus straightened. It was almost too quiet to hear. A scratching noise. He followed the sound. There was something moving in the corner, something small. It bolted when hit saw him, scuttling across the floor at an incredible speed. For a moment he thought it was an insect, or of those huge cockroaches from earth, or even a leftover collector bug that had somehow got stuck in the ship. He dropped into a crouch and followed it.

It ran under a pipe and backed up into a corner defensively. As he got closer, he could see that it wasn't an insect at all. It was small, and furry, and its beady eyes shone in the dim red light.

The hamster. He reached his arm carefully towards it, not sure if hamsters bit, and closed his fingers gently around the quivering body.

"Let's get you back home," he said to it, then immediately felt stupid. It was an animal, after all, with a brain probably the size of his fingertip. It didn't need things explained to it. Still, he'd better put it back in its glass cage, especially if he didn't want it to relieve itself in his hand. He headed for the elevator.

The door to Shepard's room slid open soundlessly.

"Here you go, little guy," he said, lifting the hamster down into the cage carefully. It shot into the nest as soon as he let it go. Garrus watched it for a minute or so, but it didn't re-emerge.

"That's gratitude for you," he said, turning away.

Shepard's room looked exactly the same as the last time he'd been in it. The bed bathed in a soothing pink glow, music still playing quietly from the speakers. It was exactly the same as the last time he'd stood right in the same place, just – a few days? A fortnight? He wasn't sure any more.

The ship models were shining gently in the light. He touched a finger to the glass. She'd collected_ all_ of them. Why? He'd never asked her. He bent closer to look at the model Reaper. Its segmented legs, delicately extended, shone with an oily gleam.

Did they win in the end? He stepped back, and looked around.

Her room. _Her _room. He almost felt like he shouldn't be there; like it shouldn't exist any more. That part of their lives were over. Her presence was strong enough here to make it seem like she might walk through the door at any moment.

He walked slowly down the stairs, tapping the button to feed the fish as he moved past. The fish remaining inside shot towards the top of the tank to feed.

He skimmed a hand over her wardrobe and then opened the panel, tentatively. It was filled with the bits and pieces of the armour she'd collected over the past year; neatly stacked, a variety of colours, and ordered by type. Like pieces of her lying there in front of him. He closed it.

He moved over to her desk and picked up a datapad. It was an Alliance report on estimated Cerberus capabilities, and just like that he was back before the assault on the Illusive Man's base, watching Shepard stir in her sleep.

The sheets on the bed were tucked in tightly with military precision, and that gave him an unexpected twinge of loss – she'd been fastidious about it, even when things were at their worst. But then, she'd been part of the military since she'd turned eighteen, and before that, an army brat. A lifetime of habit was hard to break.

He looked up. The night sky was dark above the window, but there was no blue shimmer of the ship's shields. He could almost imagine they were flying again. If he didn't look too hard.

The last time he'd looked up at it, she'd been lying in bed next to him. She'd been lying on his arm in such a manner that it had just started going numb. He'd tried to level it away gently, and she'd grumbled something unintelligible and rolled away. Thinking back, he wished he hadn't moved it.

He tore himself away. There were still two wineglasses left on the low table in front of the L-shaped couch.

He sat down, slowly, on the seat, sinking into the synthetic leather. Slowly, he lifted his head to look at the spot where Shepard would sit. He could barely breathe. It was like he'd stepped back in time. Into a whole other world. He could remember how she'd sit in his lap; how she'd curl up with her head resting on his leg. He'd run his fingers through her hair, so shiny and soft and alien.

The thought jarred. He stood up hurriedly, bumping the table with his leg and toppling one of the wine glasses over.

He shouldn't be here. He didn't belong here. Not any more.

He switched the music off as he left.


End file.
